Professional Mistake
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majortvjunkie:

majortvjunkie:

Date night with my two favorite guys

BEN AND JERRY

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hahahaha

ha

haha

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I’m so fucking alone

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16 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 166,920 notes
6,713 plays

becausebirds:

sugarskulli:

Bird friend came back to visit this afternoon

Starling stops by for a small chit-chat.

16 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 874 notes
crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

16 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 145,833 notes

moistflow:

teacher: alright, since no one is raising their hands i’m gonna pick people

me:image

16 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 97,268 notes

weedjoke420:

one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared

16 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 241,215 notes

deathpup:

first rule of fight club

  1. no fightin!…shakira shakiraaa
16 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 232,039 notes

noobtheloser:

He will beg for death, and in time, I may oblige. But first, he must pay.

I do a lot of these.

So do other people. 

16 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 26,066 notes

dean-and-the-gay-angel-man:

fallen-weeping-angel:

lumos5000:

bowtiesarecool4:

hogwartskidsproblems:

voldemort-x:

deduction-to-seduction:

isabella-jameston:

high-functioning-sociopaths:

nosheetjohnlock:

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i love how this went full circle

I just had to scroll back up because OH MY GOD IT DID

There’s nothing more I can add to this. It’s already perfect. 

18 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 457,964 notes

tastefullyoffensive:

Mankind’s greatest invention. [video]

18 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 13,867 notes

bravodelta9:

celestial-sexhair:

disney-magical:

peters-fave-lost-boy:

WRONG RIVERBEND KRONK!

I never realized how much i wanted this until i saw it

I have been waiting my entire life for this and never even knew it

"swimming in gravy"

18 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 161,640 notes

But we’re going to have a new code

Say it, Christopher. For your daughter, Allison

18 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 6,571 notes
gallifreyan-gallimaufry:

leda74:

therothwoman:

beowulfstits-archive:

I want to go to this exact point and run around it saying “I’m in Sweden!” I’m in Finland!” “I’m in Norway!” until I get tired
i aspire to great things in life

According to Google Maps, that point is in the middle of a small lake.

So we’ll do it in January when it’s frozen.

actually that’s why they’ve helpfully dropped a big-ass cement block with a bridge surrounding it in the middle of the lake: for the express purpose of doing what OP aspires to do

gallifreyan-gallimaufry:

leda74:

therothwoman:

beowulfstits-archive:

I want to go to this exact point and run around it saying “I’m in Sweden!” I’m in Finland!” “I’m in Norway!” until I get tired

i aspire to great things in life

According to Google Maps, that point is in the middle of a small lake.

So we’ll do it in January when it’s frozen.

actually that’s why they’ve helpfully dropped a big-ass cement block with a bridge surrounding it in the middle of the lake: for the express purpose of doing what OP aspires to do

18 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 42,597 notes

trappedinvacancy:

starfighting:

do you ever see a character that’s worshipped by a fandom and go “you’re not that great”

18 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 100,805 notes

radgoku:

original-poster:

radgoku:

the first person to poop must have been like ???????????????

As an infant they probably didn’t register what was happening

i was imagining a grown ass man. a man with a beard. a man hunting alaskan mammoths to provide for his family. i forgot babies. i forgot babies existed

18 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 80,248 notes

shubbabang:

funny story my 5th grade elementary school teacher was the one who figured out i had crazy bad adhd

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i hope she’s doing well

18 hours ago on July 22nd, 2014 | J | 44,433 notes