Date night with my two favorite guys
BEN AND JERRY
I’m so fucking alone
Bird friend came back to visit this afternoon
Starling stops by for a small chit-chat.
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
teacher: alright, since no one is raising their hands i’m gonna pick people
one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared
first rule of fight club
- no fightin!…shakira shakiraaa
i love how this went full circle
I just had to scroll back up because OH MY GOD IT DID
There’s nothing more I can add to this. It’s already perfect.
WRONG RIVERBEND KRONK!
I never realized how much i wanted this until i saw it
I have been waiting my entire life for this and never even knew it
"swimming in gravy"
But we’re going to have a new code.
Say it, Christopher. For your daughter, Allison.
I want to go to this exact point and run around it saying “I’m in Sweden!” I’m in Finland!” “I’m in Norway!” until I get tired
i aspire to great things in life
According to Google Maps, that point is in the middle of a small lake.
So we’ll do it in January when it’s frozen.
actually that’s why they’ve helpfully dropped a big-ass cement block with a bridge surrounding it in the middle of the lake: for the express purpose of doing what OP aspires to do
do you ever see a character that’s worshipped by a fandom and go “you’re not that great”
the first person to poop must have been like ???????????????
As an infant they probably didn’t register what was happening
i was imagining a grown ass man. a man with a beard. a man hunting alaskan mammoths to provide for his family. i forgot babies. i forgot babies existed
funny story my 5th grade elementary school teacher was the one who figured out i had crazy bad adhd
i hope she’s doing well